mymannemcee: FOX Sports radio host Peter Burns breaks down all 30 NBA teams with a twist. Instead of going through paragraphs of explanations about how each team is currently, he explains each team in a manner that anyone can understand. Nuggets = The girl that got dumped, spent 3 months in the gym & showed up looking fine as hell at Spring Break.Knicks = Skank that broke up a relationship then once she got her man, packed on 20 pounds & wants to stay in every nightSpurs = Faithful chick that cooks the same meals, wears the same outfits, but knows how to do that kinky thing you likeHeat = Stripper that drives the Vette back to her apartment where the cable is out because she couldn’t pay the bill.Mavericks = Hot Bimbo that you take to the Pool Party who hits on every other guy, then pukes & passes out on ride homeCavaliers = Chick who still blames her ex for driving her to Camels & shoeless visits to Walmart, but keeps his picture up in the trailerCeltics = Cougar that shows up at $1 You Call It Night near campus then does things to do you that your Frat buddies don’t believe.Thunder = Cute girl in class that never talks, makes straight A’s, wears glasses, and you hope finally grows out of that A Cup bra.Clippers = Chick who lives in an apartment in the rich part of town, looks crappy 6 days a week, but that 1 night…..damnnn.Suns = Washed up bartender that was hot 8 years ago, holding on to the glory days before the bad roots and melanoma.Rockets = Wheelchair bound girl that you’d might actually take out just to check it off the bucket list, and get good parking to games.Jazz = Girl that makes you meet her parents before the 1st date. Has a Piano in the living room, and gives the ass out hug at end of nightNets = Girl you always clowned, but you just found out her parents died leaving her a ton of cash. You’ll poke her on Facebook.Trailblazers = Girl that went away to rehab, appears to be doing better, but every time you see her now she has some type of cast onGrizzlies = Chunky girl at the bar that plays the Solitaire all night hoping for some guy to have his 7th shot of Jager and go SlumpbustingKings = Chick who still drives the ‘92 BMW that her parents bought before they got sued for an illegal pyramid scheme. 6 Visible Tattoos.Hornets =Chick you took on a mercy date because your parents knew she was going through a rough time. She stole silverware from Red Lobster76ers = Chick that hasn’t washed her hair in a few days, smells like cheese, hairspray & regret. She sells your buddies really bad weed.Raptors = Skinny girl that chain smokes, listens to Ke$ha, and makes out with her friends. She uses the phrase “Sunday Funday” 4x a week.Bulls = Girl that takes charge. Tells you what time to pick you up, where you are taking her to dinner, and what position to assume.Pacers =Girl that constantly sends you Farmville invites, posts stuff on facebook like “Having the worst DAY” hoping for people to ask whyPistons = Chick that was in and out of Juvy. Owns a $145 Softball bat, and has Pantera & K.D Lang back to back on her Ipod.Lakers = Snobby former child beauty pageant winner. She’s heir to the 2000 flushes fortune. You want to hate her, but she too damn fine.Timberwolves = Chick who once she came out of the womb was born to be an bitchy accountant, owns 7 cats, and is excellent at Monopoly.Warriors = Old wrinkly lady that lives 6 houses down, you’re floored when neighbors say that she used to be a Playboy bunny back in the dayWizards = Emo girl that has headphones on everytime you see her. She claims to be anti-establishment, but you know her parents work for IBMHawks = Chick that bought a used 300M, then took decals off so people think it’s a Bentley. She often fights chicks at Denny’s after clubBucks = You’ve had a class w/ this girl for 7 years. Never said a word to her, probably because she’s 240 pounds & smells like Pat SummittMagic = Girl that you know you should probably marry, but everytime you go out she wears a damn sweater & looks like hell without makeup onBobcats = Chick you hooked up with once. It was a Tuesday, it was cold, & you just watched 3 hours of Cinemax. She’s texted 11 times.

∞ 3/25/2011 (12:12pm) 153 notes

mymannemcee:

FOX Sports radio host Peter Burns breaks down all 30 NBA teams with a twist. Instead of going through paragraphs of explanations about how each team is currently, he explains each team in a manner that anyone can understand.

Nuggets = The girl that got dumped, spent 3 months in the gym & showed up looking fine as hell at Spring Break.

Knicks = Skank that broke up a relationship then once she got her man, packed on 20 pounds & wants to stay in every night

Spurs = Faithful chick that cooks the same meals, wears the same outfits, but knows how to do that kinky thing you like

Heat = Stripper that drives the Vette back to her apartment where the cable is out because she couldn’t pay the bill.

Mavericks = Hot Bimbo that you take to the Pool Party who hits on every other guy, then pukes & passes out on ride home

Cavaliers = Chick who still blames her ex for driving her to Camels & shoeless visits to Walmart, but keeps his picture up in the trailer

Celtics = Cougar that shows up at $1 You Call It Night near campus then does things to do you that your Frat buddies don’t believe.

Thunder = Cute girl in class that never talks, makes straight A’s, wears glasses, and you hope finally grows out of that A Cup bra.

Clippers = Chick who lives in an apartment in the rich part of town, looks crappy 6 days a week, but that 1 night…..damnnn.

Suns = Washed up bartender that was hot 8 years ago, holding on to the glory days before the bad roots and melanoma.

Rockets = Wheelchair bound girl that you’d might actually take out just to check it off the bucket list, and get good parking to games.

Jazz = Girl that makes you meet her parents before the 1st date. Has a Piano in the living room, and gives the ass out hug at end of night

Nets = Girl you always clowned, but you just found out her parents died leaving her a ton of cash. You’ll poke her on Facebook.

Trailblazers = Girl that went away to rehab, appears to be doing better, but every time you see her now she has some type of cast on

Grizzlies = Chunky girl at the bar that plays the Solitaire all night hoping for some guy to have his 7th shot of Jager and go Slumpbusting

Kings = Chick who still drives the ‘92 BMW that her parents bought before they got sued for an illegal pyramid scheme. 6 Visible Tattoos.

Hornets =Chick you took on a mercy date because your parents knew she was going through a rough time. She stole silverware from Red Lobster

76ers = Chick that hasn’t washed her hair in a few days, smells like cheese, hairspray & regret. She sells your buddies really bad weed.

Raptors = Skinny girl that chain smokes, listens to Ke$ha, and makes out with her friends. She uses the phrase “Sunday Funday” 4x a week.

Bulls = Girl that takes charge. Tells you what time to pick you up, where you are taking her to dinner, and what position to assume.

Pacers =Girl that constantly sends you Farmville invites, posts stuff on facebook like “Having the worst DAY” hoping for people to ask why

Pistons = Chick that was in and out of Juvy. Owns a $145 Softball bat, and has Pantera & K.D Lang back to back on her Ipod.

Lakers = Snobby former child beauty pageant winner. She’s heir to the 2000 flushes fortune. You want to hate her, but she too damn fine.

Timberwolves = Chick who once she came out of the womb was born to be an bitchy accountant, owns 7 cats, and is excellent at Monopoly.

Warriors = Old wrinkly lady that lives 6 houses down, you’re floored when neighbors say that she used to be a Playboy bunny back in the day

Wizards = Emo girl that has headphones on everytime you see her. She claims to be anti-establishment, but you know her parents work for IBM

Hawks = Chick that bought a used 300M, then took decals off so people think it’s a Bentley. She often fights chicks at Denny’s after club

Bucks = You’ve had a class w/ this girl for 7 years. Never said a word to her, probably because she’s 240 pounds & smells like Pat Summitt

Magic = Girl that you know you should probably marry, but everytime you go out she wears a damn sweater & looks like hell without makeup on

Bobcats = Chick you hooked up with once. It was a Tuesday, it was cold, & you just watched 3 hours of Cinemax. She’s texted 11 times.

Notes (153)

  1. rapzcallion reblogged this from emmahundreds
  2. apadrienne reblogged this from devinthediva
  3. thewayilikeit reblogged this from acosta-lot
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  5. nignacio reblogged this from mymannemcee
  6. poofstraightfrizz reblogged this from themisadventuresoftravisobama
  7. kcalixto23 reblogged this from ultrachronicmonster
  8. wannabedreadhead reblogged this from labcoatsandlouboutins and added:
    FOX Sports radio host Peter Burns breaks down all 30 NBA teams with...twist. Instead of...
  9. controlledremote reblogged this from emmahundreds
  10. invasionofthewigsnatchers reblogged this from heyyjaye
  11. ultrachronicmonster reblogged this from the-terrific-kid
  12. feelingluckyy reblogged this from acosta-lot
  13. shakzilla reblogged this from stephanieykim
  14. sistahstar reblogged this from mojotomomo and added:
    by the way, I used to be a Spur. Now Im a Nugget. Carry on.
  15. thefritzeffect reblogged this from dubdondabeat
  16. stephanieykim reblogged this from dianaloi
  17. yosoylamala reblogged this from the-terrific-kid and added:
    i’m dead @ the heat…rofl stupid men
  18. sweetchiclets reblogged this from justasoulrebel
  19. the-terrific-kid reblogged this from troy491 and added:
    LOL. This makes me laugh. I use to LOVE the Kings. Bobcats are the home team and I like the Celtics and root for the...
  20. fuckyeahlaclippers reblogged this from jdottdot and added:
    but that 1 night…daaaaamn!
  21. kingmost reblogged this from ninatabios
  22. thecexpress reblogged this from dianaloi and added:
    lololol “Spurs = Faithful chick that cooks the same meals, wears the same outfits, but knows how to do that kinky thing...
  23. dianaloi reblogged this from acosta-lot
  24. wellcomematt reblogged this from ninatabios